Nice rhyming, and I liked the air of it being a story, as well as a poem.

"She'll hits you like a brick."
she *hit* you like a brick?
this one is one of my favorites of yours i think its really good im really happy for you i know its hard to care about someone so much but cant tell them so i ts cool that you got what you wanted and its great that you can write about that good job

One very small clean-up issue. Second line, one "s" too many. Otherwise I like it very much.

Ooh good 1st half...cant wait till i get 2 the 2nd! 5/5!
~*Who Cares?*~