Re-opened scars

I look down at my wrists
and this is what i see
dreadful scars to remind
of how my life used to be

i gently fun my fingers over the cuts
as tears stream down my face
memories of my past play in my head
as over the red beaded lines i trace

i remember friends lying
and never seeming to care
when i needed them most
they were never there

boyfriends being @$$holes
parents screaming
wishing my life was over
as i was dreaming

when everything went wrong
i turned to my knife
it made everything seem distant
that was wrong in my life

i would cut and cut
and cut some more
i would feel much better
as my blood would pour

the cutting made me special
different from the rest
the scars on my wrist
made me feel the best

soon i grew addicted
to my secret self harm
i wore many bracelets
to hide the cuts on my arm

nobody noticed
it was my secret held within
i beamed my fake smile
and kept up my chin

my life seemed to get better
so i gave up the blade
i thought this decision
was the best i had made

but after a few weeks
everything broke down
i gave up my smile
and went back to a frown

now i sit here
staring at my wrists
i know it is time
to get back what i missed

i picked up the knife
and held it firmly in my hand
i have to do this to myself
you just don\'t understand

after a few minutes
i looked down at my bloody arm
I re-opened my old scars
and continued my self-harm.