No more trust

I am afraid of loving one more time,
to be in loves seems to me like a crime!
When i think about a relationships and joy,
I remember that i was always just a stupid toy.

All boyfriends I have had,
hurt me in different ways really bad
I always thought he is the one,
but in the end it was just an ash,
who should be shut down with a gun!

I realized that they all have one thing in common,
they hurt me,
fooled me,
played with me
and pretended (so much)
they just acted like real boys are,
with their wonderful touch....

And now there is you...
You tell me you loved me and again I fell the same,
but i don't wanna be again part of a game...
I wanna believe you so much,
because I always miss your touch..

But what's if you are like all the boys before?
I know that my heart can't take much more...
But i love you from the bottom of my heart...
so should I try another start?

My head and my feelings aren't just the same, but in the end.. what aim will i gain?
I ask myself Why I met you can you explain? And why did i kiss you again and again?

When I am with you I feel so good and save,
but know I have to be really brave..
My heart just can't take much more,
so many people broke it,
its sore...

Maybe you are the one who could heal all those wound`s?
But what if you won't? And brake all the bonds?

I don't wanna be so stupid one more time,
I don't want to believe a boy,
who will treat me like a toy...
Even trough my feelings are so strong,
every time I listen to our song!

I feel like I won't be able to love and give,
to be loved as you are is such a wonderful gift,
so please forget me and let me free with all my pain...
but maybe? can we see us again?