The flow could use a little bit of work...but like you said it was only a draft....good job n/e way it was very dark....great poem...4/5

Great concept, but somethings off, this draft is heading in the right direction though hun, maybe play around with the structure or something:)

Wish you luck
Love yeh
Jenn x0x0x

Great draft althouh teh organization is off like she said play with the struture a lil . hiope things turn out right . looking foward to the final draftif ther is one .

Good luck

Great draft althouh teh organization is off like she said play with the struture a lil . hiope things turn out right . looking foward to the final draftif ther is one .

Good luck

Even though its made up the way you write it makes you think it did. awesome draft. xox