Why

by Dave   Oct 1, 2005


Do you see it
do you see the light
alone at night
i hear there screams
louder then before
outside my door
can you see me
can you see my mind
lost far behind
can you hear me
can you hear my cries
all i hear are lies
you are growing
you are growing stronger
you'll last longer
now my time has come
its my turn to say goodbye
all i ask is why

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Sweet lig

    Hmmm very heartfelt! well hope someday u will find the answers why? great job and keep it up

  • 18 years ago

    by Natalie

    This was good aswell, Only thing though, Is maybe try and use a bit better grammer. I'm not too fussy on it, But.. Some people will rate your poems lower for it..

    Otherthan that, I thought it was pretty good. I liked at the end how you asked why. Thought that gave it a great ending. Keep it up. 5/5

    `Taleee.

  • 18 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    Really strong emotion in this. The rhyme was excellent. It flowed nicely. I don't really understand what you were trying to say though. But overall great job!

  • 19 years ago

    by Renee

    This is a very strong emotional peice. It says a lot in very little words, and I think those are the best poems to read. It's somewhat confusing though, I'm not really sure what the idea is, is it just life? or is it a certain topic? Either way, it was well written and clever, the way you use your sentencing.

    Take Care,
    Renee

  • 19 years ago

    by .

    This is really good...5/5
    Becky
    xoxo

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