Pain

My past is like a burden that terrorizes everyone I know
It washes over them like a tidal wave from the ocean
No stopping it or holding it back
You take what you get, full on armor
You can only try to protect yourself from all my pain
You cannot stop what you did not create
You may only make the damage worse

Selfishness and greed are two ingredients to hate, suffering, and disobedience
My past brings all this and more
Pain is a dreadful thing to witness
Especially someone else's pain
If I could change time, I most likely would not be here
Or I just would not be writing this
I would be a different being

There would be no how and why to my pain
There would be nothing to cause the fake smile upon my face
The only thing that would be is a sense of delight and joy
But of course I still am what I am
A dark figure standing in the shadows afraid of showing my pain
No way to change it, no way to hide it
Only a shallow way to disguise everything

No matter what I do I cannot escape it
Always to be forgotten, never to be saved
Always to be chased by my fears instead of me chasing them away
I could never have a happy ending
Only an ending to cause even more pain
An endless ongoing chain of tears and pain
Like a river, or the waves in the ocean