What was Once

I smile to hide my fake disguise,
Of a life endlessly down and blue,
Each day just waiting to die,
All because I loved you,

The hardest part of each day,
Is seeing you across the street,
Knowing you don't feel the same way,
And how I must keep my feelings discrete,

I hate how I think about you all the time,
Youre the last person to ever be guessed,
As the one continually on my mind,
Who makes my heart beat against my chest,

I can't have you but I donâ??t want you,
These days of woe make no sense at all,
As thoughts start coming into view,
They build above me as I become so small,

But as I remember the day I kissed your lips,
My body calms as memories take over my soul,
Hand in hand and touching finger tips,
Knowing the love that once made me whole.

©Samantha Jayne Reed
Wrote on October 3rd, 2005