Cut too deep...

I know I haven't done things right,
I know I've been wrong,
But you don't know how much I want this,
I've waited for so long.

Each night I long for it to happen,
As I sit on my bed and cry,
Each night I pray it will be over,
Pray that I will die.

Slowly, so slowly my world disappears,
My life losing it's light,
Slowly my sun goes down,
Day turning to forever night.

See the blade flash in my hand,
I don't remember picking it up,
My body's in automatic
And I can't make it stop.

I see it all happen, feeling strangely detached,
See the blood trickle down my arm,
Self-mutilation it's called,
But it's release not harm.

I feel a twinge travel up my arm
And straight through my vein,
I come back to my body
And feel so much pain.

I know I made a mistake,
Know I cut too deep,
Know the bleeding will never stop,
It will forever seep.

I collapse against the wall,
Fall to ground,
The bleeding won't stop
But I can't make a sound.

I watch it all drain out,
Watch it pour out of me,
Beginning to feel light-headed,
Why did I do this to my body?

I can't seem to think,
Can't seem to get my mind to work,
My body's staying calm
But my mind's going berserk.

I know I've killed myself,
I know I've gone too far this time,
And as I feel my mind turn black
I feel Death's hand clasp mine...

© copyright of Holly Nia Goodson