2 my mom(sry its soo long)

Im writing this poem
to tell u how i feel
the life i wish 2 live
will now never be real
sometimes i blame myself
4 u not bein around
but i dont see why
cuz ur not the one who gets put down
u always make promises
that u can never seem to keep
uve stabbed me in the heart
and the cuts pretty deep
ur always in the emergency room
b/c of some stupid guy
i wish he would get shot
to where he would die
i know it sounds pretty mean
but he treats u like crap
so let me ask u one thing...
y do u keep going bak?
2 hear u like this
always bein hurt
how do u put up with it?
gettin treated like dirt
hear lately ive been soo afraid
that i cry almost everynight
i pray to god a million times
hopin ull be alright
u scare me soo much
sometimes i feel like running away
maybe ill find u out there
but then i think about that day
how u promised me again
ud never go bak
but like usual u lied
how could u do that?
i trusted u and u took advantage of that
u need some help cuz ur mind is whack
im sry mom
but i have no More faith
uve used all the trust
and now i no longer feel safe
i dont have u
and u dont have me
so maybe ull straighten up
and finally see
ur not a teenager anymore
so grow up
and start actin like u really care.....

i dont mean to be mean to my mom like this but she has hurt me soo many times im over it...this is basically how i feel....i feel sry 4 her...she gets her a** beat all the time by some guy....shes been put in the hospital by him about 6 times in the past 3 months...she hasnt been around to see how ive been 4 the past idk how many years...yh she does scare me still and i do love her to death but she needs to grow up and change..she is a druggy and an acoholic...if u ahve any comments on this then ill read em..thanks...oo yh dont 4 get to rate it...i love noin wat yall think about my poems...