I am not worthy

Oh dearest, How can I redeem myself I ask
For so often now, I must apoligize for my sins
I have not the strength nor the will to continue
Every mistake is like a fiery blade puncturing the skin

Why is it that you whom I care for the most
I hurt, though I mean just to cherish and love
Nothing but pain I have brought you I know
More nobody and nothing than help from above

I am not perfect my love, not even close
I have looked into a mirror, seen my faults and fears
Stared upon my downfall, my malice my hatred
Washed away bloodstains with bitter sweet tears

Perhaps in me you see something I cannot
My eyes, blinded against all but wrong
Needing you, when my heart fails me so often
Crying your name to the harsh winds song

Oh darling, I am needy, I am weak now you see
Deserving nothing but the agony I revel in
My mind is tired, though I am but a child
Weakened and empty, from the voodoo doll pins

Where do I go, to change, to redeem
For I must not continue to let you down
Waterfalls of tragedy seep freely this hour
As my body does fail me when I fall to the ground

I love you, I always did, from the depths of my soul
You brought me life, you brought me laughter and fun
Now I fear I have lost you, for the fool I have been
I cannot go on without you, for you are my only one

In you I found something, someone pure and kind
Yet I have forsaken you, for you may now loathe me
My heart is aching softly, with my faults and my wrongs
I am more than just weak, I pray you still see