My Feelingz...

I dont know what to do anymore, I dont want to lose her, she means everything to me... I dont understand why its always me the first one to apologize even if it isnt my fault, I love her more than anything in the world, but if shes not happy with me then I can only leave her side and find happiness with another.. Even though it kills me inside when I feel that she slips away and will be in another guys arms some other time... God, u know I tried and I was never selfish or held pride against her, but send me a sign that lets me know something good will happen in my life because if I lose her, I lose my soul... I wish I didnt have to mess up these things and that she loved me as much as I loved her, but it doesnt feel that way in the words spoken to me and my heart aches at the thought of her telling me she doesnt know if she wants to be with me, if I cant have her then let her be happy and find true love with someone else that can do better than me... I dont have anything in this world but a job and the love in my life, maybe I was wrong for handing her everything in me, but please give me the strength to keep on because I feel as if I die when I know she wants to leave... I have tried my all to keep her happy and gave her all my love I have nothing else left in me, help me and guide me thru these hard times God, I dont want to be hurt for the rest of my life...