Goodbye

by Soft Rain   Oct 6, 2005


You only have 5 minutes
before you go away
and leave me here alone
to weep all day.

So I will make this quick
and tell you that I care
that we will someday meet
up in heavens lair.

I wish you could have gotten
a better picture of me
because I'm not as mean an ugly
as people make me seem.

I'm sorry if I hurt you
I really didn't want to
wasn't thinking straight
just trying to act cool
in front of my friends.

I wish this wasn't happening
it is all my fault
I'm the one who should be dieing
not you, my dearest love.

A continuous beep turns to one
Now knowing that you are gone
A tear rolls down my eye
Exiting the door, a goodbye to you.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Gem

    "I'm sorry if I hurted you
    I really didn't want to
    wasn't thinking straight
    just trying to act cool
    in front of my friends."

    That was my fave stanza although it should be 'hurt' rather than 'hurted'.
    Apart from that, a very heart wrenching poem.
    Very nicely written m'dear
    5/5
    *Gem*

  • 19 years ago

    by Jacklyn

    "and that we will someday meet" take the and out of that line it's not needed!

    plus "I suddenly hear a long beep" i don't like that line, it sticks out to me as weird try this

    "A continuous beep turns to one
    Now knowing that you’re gone
    A tear rolls down my eye
    Exiting the door, a goodbye to you." remember only suggestions for this is your poem and you are the poet .

    this is a really good poem, you certainly have improved my dear!

    ~Jacklyn

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