Overdose Part 2

I wake up in a hospital,
Surrounded by my family,
At first I wonder why they're here,
Then I realize it's to see me.

I look around me,
Plain, bland hospital room,
I look at the time,
Why did I wake up so soon?

In fact, why did I wake up at all?
I was supposed to die,
Just thinking about make
Fresh tears fall from my eyes.

I turn away from my parents,
Not wanting to see their concerns,
After a while one of they leave,
Then one of them returns.

I feel a hand on my shoulder,
My mother's voice in my ear,
Telling me she knows how I feel
And she's so glad that I'm still here.

She whispers that she loves me,
That she'll help with anything,
I try to sit and face her
But my head begins to spin.

I look around me again,
Look at the machines I'm on,
With I TV in the corner,
Sorry, doc, but I'm not having fun.

I whisper to my mother that it didn't work,
That I don't want to be here,
That I wasn't supposed to be alive,
Not even anywhere near.

She tells me I shouldn't be thinking these things,
That I shouldn't say anything like that,
I should be happy it didn't work,
Because I can get help and come back.

Help? What does she mean help?
I don't need a therapist to help me,
I need a locksmith to break these chains
And set me free.

I don't say a word,
Don't even whisper a reply,
My mother withdraws her hand
And hear her start to cry.

I should feel guilty,
I know that I should,
And just a few days ago
I know that I would.

But I can't feel anything
Except that gaping black hole,
This emptiness inside,
My heart has turned cold...

© copyright of Holly Nia Goodson