I Wish I Was Blind

I wish I was blind
So I wouldn't have to see the beauty I know I cannot have
I wish I was deaf
So I could not hear your soothing voice
I wish I was mute
So people wouldn't hear me scream I LOVE YOU
I wish I could not feel
Because your skin is softer then that of the heavens
I wish I was dead
So I didn't have to live, knowing I'm living without you

But I am not blind
And I see you everyday
Everyday, without me
I am not deaf
And I can hear you say those three words to someone that isn't me
I can scream
And yet I do not speak my mind
And I can feel
I can feel the pain, the tears rolling down my cheeks
I can feel my heart fall in this bottomless pit of agony
And I am not dead
But I am dying
Dying because I walk away everyday
Not holding your hand
Not holding you
And never holding your heart

For I had your heart once
And I lost its grip
And now all I can do is watch it fall away from me
Getting smaller and smaller as it disappears

Or is it me
Is it my eyes getting heavier?
Falling to their final rest
Is it me?
Hearing you getting further and further away
Is it me?
As I'm losing my voice when I try to scream I love you
Is it me?
Losing all feelings in this world of pain
Is it me?
Dying

-------please comment-----