Who knew that I got through it,
Thinking about those days,
Saying to my self "I'm better than that",
Being scared of my own ways.
Reading lost, found poems hurts to see,
I was like that once, lonely,
Retyping history, is repeating it,
If only.
Makes me feel sorry for the others,
The afraid, the scared, the ones,
And knowing that I cant repeat,
Wondering who has the loading guns.
With your life going backwards,
Being doing living dose by dose,
Killing hurting lying,
Thinking what i did most.
Part by part peace by peace,
Heart by heart,
Singing praying sitting,
Being called a tart.
Understanding is easier than hurting,
livng is harder than suicide,
Less pain, but deep down what's it doing,
Killing hurting crying seeping, side by side.
Wanting more than avalable,
Living killing gone,
Painful as my heart may seem,
After every withdrawn.
But never,
Been too long to go back,
Now i look for my future,
Still being black.
