Pain revisited

Now I liked that ending! It leaves you wondering.. Well done!
The first lines wording wasnt the best but the rest I liked.
Your very good at using words that show people the atmosphere well done!
Erm.. yeah I liked this well done =)

Another deep poem
i like the way u pick ur words & use them right
its refreshing when someone reads these kinda stuff
5/5
love
amy

Again the pain comes to the fore
mm, not a good choice of wording. the first three lines of this segment need work on the wording, but the fourth line is great.
I dont understand how from that we fell
this is hard to grasp the first time through, again, try rewording.
fleetest of birds
once more, rewording is a key.

You use good words, but you seem to have a weakness in putting them together. Don't be afraid to write simple words, remember, everything starts out small, then is built up. Don't try to throw all kinds of vocabulary in one place. Vocabulary doesn't always make the poem better, especially if it's over exaggerated; unless your writing satire.

I really understand this right now. i hate it when you can have what you want it hurts dosnt it. the first stanza was my favorite. i didnt really like the last line of the 2nd stanza i know a lot of words dont rhyme with word but i think comparing anything to birds is kind of out of place in this poem i think a sentence ending with unheard would suit this poem better but i dunno and then i loved the last two

But deep inside I feel so much pain
As I wonder if we will be together again

you like couldn't have described what i think sometimes any better then how you worded that great job 5/5!!

Amazing write, I hope this isnt for expreience... if it is staystrong...