I'm crying
I'm not sure why
or I am sure why, but I don't understand it
on Saturday night
I kissed him
or he kissed me
we kissed
this perfect kiss
there was music and dim lights
smoke and broken beer bottles
screeching drunk girls and the watching, gleaming eyes of hopeful advantage takers of the previously mentioned girls
I wasn't drunk
but I was intoxicated with a fair amount of fear and vodka
I demanded he leave our safe group of friends and come with me to get my bag
he followed
we kissed
and as we kissed I realized that if I never kissed anyone else
id die happy
I know that seems so over the top
I'm 17!
but I've loved him for so long
and wanted him for longer
or rather I've wanted us
he's saved my life, my sanity so many times without even realizing it
every time i was sad
the thought of him with me, us, together
saved me
it gave me something to dream of as I cried myself to sleep
and I dreamt
and i dream...
