(this poem is long...sry about that...when i wrote this i was trying to pour everything out...i wrote it like a year ago when things were bad...hope you like it)
I hate it when
I feel left out
it makes me feel useless
it's what makes me doubt.
Everyday I feel like I am ditched
and left on my own
do you even care
that I end up all alone?
I hang out with myself
because I don't want to make you mad
I don't want you thinking I rather hang with others
which makes me end up sad.
I become so depressed
just because I think of you more then me
I done everything in my power to be at your side
but you don't and that's what hurts me.
Where is the friend
that once was in you
she used to show she cared
and now she confuses me into not knowing what to do.
I know I am not her best friend anymore
but why does she sometimes ignore me when I am there
doesn't she see me standing at her side
doesn't she even care?
I just want to hang out with her
and have some sort of fun
but she leaves me all the time
and it makes me think it was something I've done.
Did I make her mad
what was it that I did so wrong
did she know when she's mad it hurts me
but I've got to be strong!
I remember today
I was standing at the door
she and her friends walk right past me
is it me she wants to ignore?
It made me want to cry
I felt so invisible to her naked eye
my heart dropped to the floor
my back pressed harder to the door.
I was standing just right there
does she even care
my day was going so bad
and now my day was making me sad.
As I walked to my locker
right after the bell
I seen her and her friends laughing
and I felt like going to h*ll.
Tears were forming in my eyes
I had to wipe them away quick
I don't want people seeing me so down
even though I couldn't wipe away my frown.
I just wanted to go home
I just wanted to be alone
does anyone love me even at all
I'm telling you, I'm not going to bawl.
I wish I could talk to mommy
but she don't even care
I would never tell my daddy
because he doesn't even see me there.
He is always in one of his stupid moods
thinking always of him and no one else
I hate him so much
he is so d*mn selfish.
I just need someone to talk to
someone I can tell my inside secrets
someone I can trust not to tell how I feel
someone who will help me to heal.
I'm lost in my world
I wonder sometimes what to do
but I am so stressed out
but I've got to be strong for you.
I've got to be at your side
in case you finally need me there
I don't want you ever hurting alone
because I truly care.
You mean more then I
and I don't want to ever hurt you
I wonder if you think the same for me
I wonder if you think it to.
I know my life isn't as bad as yours
but inside I still hurt
I show everyone I care for them
and I end up feeling like dirt.
Don't you care
that I to hurt inside
I showed you I cared for you
why does your feeling for me have to hide.
Alls I want is a hug
and you to ask me what is wrong
do you know how long it was since I last heard you ask
its what prevents me from being strong.
I don't want you getting mad over this poem
but then I want to tell you how I feel
telling you face to face is hard enough
so I thought finally telling you will help you to understand my feelings are real.
I just want to know
whether or not I am a waste of your time
because sometimes I feel that way
and it makes me go out of my mind.
Please don't get mad over this poem I wrote
because that is not what I want you to feel
I just want you to think it through
and tell me if your feelings toward me as a friend are real?
