I'm laying on my bed think,thinking of how much i miss my mother.yesterday at lunch i stared at all the kids and thought of how many are probably going home to their mom and how only three years ago i had that but then one day it was gone and never able to return.thinking of how i have survived as long as had and thinking of how much more pain i will encounter by myself,thinking of how old my mother would be turning if only she were here to celebrate her 39th birthday and how i will be celebrating it by going to her unmarked grave and lying a flower there,thinking of how if i would get to hold her one more time,or hug,or kiss or hear her say i love u one more time for i have forgotten the sweet elegant sound of her voice,and the sharp smell of her perfume,and her beautiful red ruby hair.thinking if i could just get a letter like in a story i read how happy and ye still so sad i would be,thinking of how i need to find away to discard the thought of her death being my fault and just thinking about her made my tear ducts swell.
