My life story

My 16 years of life has been pretty difficult for me, Ive been through allot, Ive done everything,
before i was born my birth father got in a car accident, my mom thought she was going to loose me cuz how stressed she was, she even tried to kill me (when she was pregnant) when i was born mi mom got married now i have a wonderful step father who i adore...and two younger sisters... when i was 2 mi grandmother died.. when i was 3 my other grandmother died. life was pretty good until i hit around 13 when my dad lost his job and we almost lost our house ( we still have financial problems until this day) but 13 is when my birth fathers mom died.. my grandmother.. my favorite person in the world... miss her more ever day** years get worse an worse... when i was 14 my grandfather died... (RIP) on the day of my 15 b day my great grandmother died this is when it got the worst.. i fell in love that year would do anything for my man.. i ended up getting raped and my boyfriend left me.. i had so many problems i was bulimic i tried killing myself.....having sex with guys(not for money) i was bad.. i smoked weed an drink all the time i skipped school... though i did keep my grades up i tried not to drop out like my brother... i had a pretty rough time..... things are now getting better.. i think i may have mental problems or depression problems but no one knows.... i just lost my best friend this year... and my grandpa is in the hospital... I'm confused about life na i dint know what i wanna do.. I'm a pretty girl and with a big heart but i use it like its small.. i do things too make my self feel better.. i would make guys fall in love with me an then leave them.. b/c what happen to me..... i dint know if this is normal.. but this is my life.. i love god with all my heart.... i need help more everyday...but the question is will an how will i ever get it??????