Why is it? (Edited)

Why is it that I want
So much more than I can actually have
And when that time comes
That what I want is actually within my reach
Why is it that all my thoughts
All my feelings
Everything I want
Suddenly changes direction
So fast and so confusing
Just like being caught in a bad storm
The wind blowing around me
These are my thoughts
The coldness setting in
Just like my feelings
I say I want you one moment
Then the next I look at you
And what I see is something I am not sure if I can handle
Or even if I would like to try
My thoughts are so distorted
Like I am not quite sure how to act
Or what to say when you are near
Why is it I want you so badly one second
And not at all the next?
Is it just a lie?
A lie that I tell myself just to get over you
To act like the feelings, the ones that are really there
Are not genuine enough for me to even care
I am not sure why
And I wish I knew
Why it is I am not sure if I am in love with you.