In memory of...

Play the music loud, close the bedroom door
It's part of the routine that I've done before

The bottle of whiskey or beer sits on the stereo speaker
Every sip makes me feel stronger, but weaker

I get the pills that i have hidden in my middle drawer
I make sure that i locked the door

I crush them up into "magic dust" like we say
I form a line...roll a bill...and the pain goes away

The sniffling continues as i get another drink
The whiskey is mixing, i can't seem to think

My lighter and smokes are ready to go
I need them to relieve stress, what does anybody else really know?

I sit on my bed right next to my light
Razor in the left hand, a shaky fist in the right

Thrills running through me now
I need to calm down, let me show you how

One cut leads to another
Several leads to many as blood begins to cover

White begins to color my face
I drop the rag and razor, I'm too weak to have that embrace

My head is on the pillow, my hands are in a fold
My pulse rate has stopped, my body is so cold..............

The paper next day has the stunning fact
That so many will be affected by this impact

Once again, another teen age death
who knew what she said with her final last breath

People tried to believe it could not be
Who they were talking about in the obituary

I hope one day by friends will see
That I'm sorry it was labeled IN MEMORY OF...me

*No it's not a suicide note*