Don't want

I don't want to care.... but I do.
I don't want to cry...but I will.
I don't want to smile... but I have to.
I don't want your apoligies..and I don't have them.
I don't need your friendship...no thats a lie I do.
I don't want to live... but I will.
I don't want but I long to have.
Cry tears... I'm crying on the inside.
I don't smile.
I don't laugh.
I don't want.
Anything.
except.