I bear my soul this very night,
To you who considered to see something personal that I write,
I struggle to prove who I am,
The voice inside my head says give up, its not like you can,
Trying to give myself a label,
Just so I can feel safe and stable,
Since Your reading ,
Let me show you that im no longer the same,
Its like everyone points at me and gives me the blame,
I don't talk much,
Am I shy?
Is it because I'm around some preppy guy?
No its because I don't like the people around me,
Because they're too blind just to see,
The smile I put on my face,
The sadness I feel inside is what it is to replace,
They think I'm normal,
Maybe even as far a prep,
Thats only because I'm too scared to take the next step,
A step to show my anger inside,
The kind of feeling i have known to hide,
The hateful, dark and sad side of me,
Is something myself I'm afraid to see,
To see the corruption that deep inside that Ive become,
If that ever showed,
I would be done,
Looks can be deceiving as Ive been told,
Looking at myself i understand,
All I feel these days is the dark and cold,
The only thing from stopping me doing the sinful,
Is a sweet honest man,
Who stands in my way,
Thank god for him and come what may,
To stop me from doing the stupid,
But yet I'm addicted,
To the pain and blood,
The tears that flood,
So take this poem to show who I am,
I honestly don't expect you to understand,
Just take into consideration,
The lack of my motivation,
To look deeper than skin deep,
Because how I feel is dug right in underneath,
That no one sees,
Because thats the most sacred and safe place inside of me,
The place that people cant get to,
If you've read this then that one person is you,
You saw the most personal and fragile side of my soul,
In my heart theres a huge hole,
I have the guy I love the most,
But I dunno Inside of me theres like a burdened ghost,
So here I go, step out of this room,
Hide all of the anger and gloom,
Put on a smile,
Just so I can fool people for more than a little while,
Too scared...
To take the next step.....
