Live again in my dreams

I was laying down looking to the skies
Fell asleep...closed my eyes

I saw you again...there with me
I was so god damn happy

We were sitting on someone's car
I told you how your suicide is a never-healing scar

And then we started to walk some more
I heard your voice, so much of it i adore

We went to the building where you were found...dead
A loaded shotgun right to the head

We sat on the edge, the gun was up against the wall
Our dangling legs give us a thrill like we were going to fall

You told me that I'm not doing anything wrong
I'm just having a hard time getting along

I have to be strong is what you said
don't let your tears flow in red

You told me that you still care about me
More than ever, I'm your little sister and i will always be

I told you how i never got to say goodbye
You looked at me and started to cry

You said go ahead and tell me what you want
I never thought that i would get this time to confront

I hugged you and held on tight
I told you that without you, nothing seems right

You left so quick, i was too slow
To see you were in pain, i did not know!

I miss you so much, my heart just dies
I'm sick of this place and all of these lies

I love you so much and i want to be with you
Why did you leave? what did i do?

That's where you stood up and grabbed your gun
I was silent...your words laid on me like a ton

You told me that now it is finally goodbye
I sat there and screamed no and started to cry

You closed your eyes and we started to fought
And there it went...the gunshot

...............

I shot up sitting in my bed
Crying so much from everything you said

I kept crying, my pillows were wet
this is something that i can't seem to get

My face was white, my hands were shaking
My mind was consuming more than i should be taking

I hate these dreams, i hate these goodbyes
i hate waking up to midnight cries

but i guess it's OK because i know you still care
But it kills me so much to know you ARE NOT there