These small white pills

It didn't work,
Didn't make it leave,
Didn't make it stop,
Didn't make it ease.

They didn't make it easier,
They didn't make it go away,
Didn't kill me quietly,
Now I have to face another day.

These small white pills,
Didn't stop my pain,
Didn't make me numb,
Even though I've tried again and again.

These tablets of hope
Against my feelings of negativity,
Third time is not the charm,
At least not for me.

So many thoughts inside my head,
So many voices inside my ears,
So many wishes inside my heart,
Yet unable to act, faced with my own fears.

So many people want me to stay,
Their hopes and dreams weighing me down,
I am living only for them,
It's in their eyes my own life is found.

So many people knowing how I feel,
Am I really that obvious?
Yet my family, the ones who I live with,
Are so oblivious.

Should I tell them?
Let them know?
Allow them to see how I feel?
Just one time before I go...

© Copyright of Holly Nia Goodson