I died first

My hand is shaking intensely
And my body has gone numb
I stare at the words that I have written
How could I be so dumb?

I put the note beside my bed
I cry my bloody tears
I search for the knife that I have hidden
And longed for, for so many years.

The blade is smooth and shiny
It gleams into my eye
It looks so sharp and tempting
Its now I say goodbye.

I make a pattern on my wrist
I slice into the skin
I long to die and be over with
I feel the pain within.

I hope to soon be found
So everyone can know
The note that I have written
Is letting my feelings show.

What does it say you ask
Ill tell you when Im dead
I have the poem that I made up
So clearly in my head.

Ill paint a pretty picture
A picture with a twist
Ill use a knife as a paintbrush
And carve it in my wrist.

I dont want to make you feel this way
But you made me feel even worse
You told me you wanted to die, my friend
Well guess what: I died first!