I know... im sorry

I know it hurts you
and your pain hurts me
all i want
is to see you happy

you want me to stop
its not that easy
its as much a part of me
as my smile, my personality

every time i get hurt
i run to the blade
it makes the hurt
all start to fade

my pain is so great
i cant even begin to explain
it doesn't go away
till i see my arm crying crimson tears

i know you don't understand
and i don't expect you to
for your not me
and you i am not

but with the blood
gushes out the pain
there is no other outlet
cuts are all i have to gain

the blade is always there
no matter the time

i know you don't like this
but its hard for me too
to know I'm hurting the ones i love
by just trying to take away my pain

I'm sorry i will try
but try i might
and fail i will
until i put forth 100%

but one part of me
doesn't want to stop
that is the part of me
that will always be a cutter