Right Emotions

by LadyPearl   Oct 21, 2005


The right emotions directs my gaze
to my paper I start to write
my mind fills with a dreamer's daze
telling my secrets in the night

power unsaid leads me astray
releasing all my pain
just my fingers, needless to say
writing in desperate vain

emotions cause words to form
one by one lines appear
poem on rise, a writing storm
a poem about to be shared

An urge inside tremble in me
squirming till it is free
an eye of knowledge able to see
the upcoming majesty

A masterpiece about to burst
filled with new empathy
in desire of a writing thirst
finally a poem of beauty

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    I really enjoyed this poem. Your use of words and descriptions worked well to emphasize the message and emotions of this piece. It flowed fluently and was easy to read, the rhyming was almost perfect too. The only problem is the third stanza doesn't follow the same rhyming pattern as the other stanzas because "appear" and "shared" don't rhyme.
    On the very first line you said, "The right emotions directs my gaze" to be correct it should either be, "The right emotions direct my gaze" or, "The right emotion directs my gaze."
    Overall, a very good poem, I could really feel the emotions and the wording you used really brought it to life. It’s up to you whether you make the corrections, but I feel if you do them it will make this poem one to be proud of.
    Thanks for sharing, keep it up.

  • 19 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    I really enjoyed this poem. Your use of words and descriptions worked well to emphasize the message and emotions of this piece. It flowed fluently and was easy to read, the rhyming was almost perfect too. The only problem is the third stanza doesn’t follow the same rhyming pattern as the other stanzas because “appear” and “shared” don’t rhyme.
    On the very first line you said, “The right emotions directs my gaze” to be correct it should either be, “The right emotions direct my gaze” or, “The right emotion directs my gaze.”
    Overall, a very good poem, I could really feel the emotions and the wording you used really brought it to life. It’s up to you whether you make the corrections, but I feel if you do them it will make this poem one to be proud of.
    Thanks for sharing, keep it up.

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