Dear God, Amen.

Sorry if this offends anyone, that wasn't the intention of this poem.

Dear God,

I've never prayed before
And I honestly never thought I would,
But with everything that's been happening lately,
I sort of felt I should.
I don't know what's happened to me,
I always seem so miserable,
I don't understand why,
But it feels like something unforgivable.
I know that this life is a gift
And I shouldn't be living in such misery,
I know that I shouldn't feel like this,
I should feel free and happy.
I haven't exactly led the best life,
And I know I've done things wrong,
But I just feel so alienated here,
I just feel like I don't belong.
I feel like no one could ever understand
All these things that bring me pain,
The conflict in my mind
Is what's driving me insane.
Sometimes it all gets too much,
I just sit in antisocial silence,
But if I didn't,
I know I would scream and act in violence.
I know that suicide is supposed to be a sin,
To take your own life,
But I can't seem to stop thinking about it,
About taking those pills or using that knife.
I hope you understand that if I come to see you,
No, not 'if', but when,
I just couldn't stand it all any longer,
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Amen.

© Copyright of Holly Nia Goodson