Cutting To Die

Sitting in my room alone,
Sitting looking at the phone.
Wondering whether to call someone instead,
Wondering whether it's all in my head.
I know it's the wrong thing to do,
I know my friends tell me not to.
They don't see how hard this is for me;
They don't know the full story.
Instead of turning to a friend,
Instead of trying to put this all to an end.
I just turn to a knife;
I just want to end my life.
I cut and it feels good at the time,
I cut and I feel like the control is mine.
I feel good for a minute or two,
I feel like it was the right thing to do.
Afterwards I realise it was wrong,
Afterwards a few minutes seems like so long.
Thinking about what I've just done,
Thinking about how everyone else won.
I try to stop but I know I can't,
I try to stop but it's just too hard.
Soon I'll take it too far and I'll be dead,
Soon I'll wish I'd just gone to bed.
I guess in the end we'll all die,
I guess I just hope that soon I'll end my life.