Un-Original

by Renee   Oct 25, 2005


So forget that vow of "till death do us part,"
maybe this death is just what I need.
For it's killing me slowly when we're so far apart,
so I'll die just to watch you from my cloud above the trees...

When I need a hug and these friends just won't suffice,
I think of you squeezing the life out of me.
Holding me so tightly, you would think I couldn't breathe.
But in all actuality, it's just what I need.

I know I didn't write about the stars tonight,
these clouds were just a little too grey.
And I couldn't think of anything so beautiful..
to compare you with today.

So I'm hoping these un-original words
will get my point across.
It's sad, I know, that I just can't show,
how much of me you've got.

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-*- I thought I was in the writing mood, but maybe not. I tried to get down everything I wanted to write in this peice though, so it may not make sense or flow correctly.

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Natalie84

    It's freaking perfect! This is one of my favorites from you!
    "For it's killing me slowly when we're so far apart,
    so I'll die just to watch you from my cloud above the trees" I love that...I couldn't pick a favorite part as I love the whole damn poem!! But that part stuck out ... when you find love like this you're willing to sacrafice ANYTHING even life....that's when you know it's real...and it's an awesome feeling...though it can be painful as we can all see it is here...lovely piece Coonay!!

  • 19 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Nicely done!!!

  • 19 years ago

    by Not Bulletproof

    Lovely, lovely, lovely. Absolutely enchanting, m'dear. This is -very- original, so I found, as well as modest and truly touching. Keep smiling my dear, and take very good care. You're an outstanding writer and a huge inspiration...Keep your head up. xxxxxx

    Love always,
    Sarah.x.