Save me from me

Right my wrongs.
[[That line didn't really make sense to me.]]

I really liked this one aswell, I've written one similiar to it. Amazing job. Keep up the great work.

Natalie``

I love ur style of writing u have great talent

Amazing job. for some odd reason with this poem i could picture a girl in a basement hitting off the walls saying this poem. yeah i might be weird but i can picture things happen when i read poems or stories. But anyway i just got the affect of it. I really really liked this poem alot. It's kinda weird knowing you want to save your own self but the weird part is to me what i was picturing was you just saying that to yourself to the basement walls no one else. I dunno that's what i seen. But anyway another talented poem. keep it up. keep on writing. love always and forever.

Firstly, let me say, very well written. You are a natural for rhyme, you do it perfectly, and the flow is spot on. The short lines add to the intensity and tone of the poem. The wording was good too, some interesting lines in here. Your words are full of emotion, and that really comes through to the reader. I only have one suggestion for this; on the second line, it should be "I sleep too long." The ending was strong and summed up the meaning of the poem, very well done!

Shouldn't it be "I sleep TOO long?" and that they should "hear" you out.

Those are the only mistakes.
The rest of the poem sounds quite nice, and the peculiar ending saved it from being cliche.

Good Writing!
beth