I don't

Life...yeah it seems harder these days
But I'll learn to make and meet ways

And i do admit i still got issues inside
I need to fix them, no longer can they hide

I don't think i have self-esteem
I don't believe in myself to the point that i want to scream

I don't like the way i look,
i hate everything about me
I don't like who i am...i feel so empty

I don't like some things I've done in the past
And it sucks because forever the effects will last

I don't like being so depressed because family puts me down
I don't like feeling that I'm the only one around

And it kills me because i can't beat my mind
I can't seem to leave some things behind

But what i like though is how I'm opening my eyes
what i like is how i can let out my cries

Nobody understands me, that's what gets me sad
I don't really talk to nobody because i lost the people i had

But i am in the process of giving up drugs and all
I am willing to fight against my next fall

I'm trying to stop this crazy stuff i do
And i promise i will too

And I'm trying to realize i don't cause all of this pain
I'm not the one to blame for the past even though these feelings remain

And i swear...i haven't thought this clear in so long
I'm realizing so much of my life that is wrong

My friends do care and they love me too
Even if they don't know what to do

And i thought older people didn't care
I thought that only my friends were there

I was wrong too...i have 2 people to help me
My gram and Jen are two people i didn't see

And i don't want to leave without seeing my friends succeed
I want to breathe...not bleed

I don't want to give up, not now
I will keep trying and I'll figure out how

I want to live, i want to cry
I want to be here, i don't want to die