Excellent poem. I personally loved the last stanza. Your poems are so personal and real. Great job. :]

I wanted the start of the poem to be abrupt, hence the starting with "And" - and it appears to have had the effect I desired.

As to the rhyme scheme, I didn't want any definite rhyming scheme, so as to sew the confusion a little more. The rhyming increases the more it gets to the end of the poem, and that is my mistake, I believe.

The constant use of And just seemed right for some reason. I have no particular reason for it.

I thank you for your comments, and for your kind words. Keep them both coming, especially any criticisms.

The mellismatic, dreamy estate, of this poem is really quite the delectible genre. I do like how you write, i've skimmed through a few of your pieces, and firstly I must say, welcome to my favorites list.

As far as this particular piece is concerned ... it is a pure expression of the menace love is. The secret delight in the triumph of finding love. Or not. I hope you continue this story, whether onward - good or bad - I am certain it recquires a sequel. But I do like it alone, in its unqiue flavor.

Very original!

5/5

I loved it..Daniel...Awesome so much emotion....Thanx for the comment and i changed it...cause your right it only sucks when u say it does!!!!! Thanx agian!!!!

All My Love.....Joclyn

Interesting. It's amazing how you write something- read it- put feeling into it- and the poem becomes real.

About this poem, I really like it, It has a lot of feeling in it. I like poems with feeling because I think it helps the reader to better understand the poem.

I hope I'm not making myself sound like a idiot. I hate it when I do that.. =/

Ahwell, I'm putting you on my favs because you're poems are wonderful and good enough to read over and over. =)

5 all the way.

Wow. that was cute. i love the very last 2 lines. nice twist. very good job. 5/5