This Beast of Me Roars Inside

I lie awake each and every night,
For I know what my sleep will bring,
Those horrible dreams of my subconscious terror,
All filled with those horrible things.

I force my eyes open till I can do it no more,
The dread as I drift of to sleep,
When I open my eyes you are there waiting for me,
With ideas of your havoc to wreak.

I don't care what you do to me myself,
I have no care for my own kinds of pain,
But when you make me see those I love twisted in pain,
It just want to hurt you again and again.

Family and friends
Tortured before my eyes,
Their screams run through me,
The product of your lies.

When I beg you to stop you agree,
But you say that it comes at a price,
I must take on their pain or they will suffer,
You say 'Variety's the spice of life.'

You just want more,
More pain, more troubles, more people to hurt,
I used to have some control over you,
But it no longer seems to work.

You say that I must suffer their pain,
Or take it all upon myself,
But no matter what I do,
Each night I see it happen to them as well.

You bind my hands,
Paralysis runs through my body,
The fear goes through me, and then your pain,
Making my mind feel foggy.

When the pain stops
And you take a step back,
I shout hate at you, its how I feel,
But it turns you to rage like that.

You mutter something,
You're barely heard,
Yet you look so angry,
I don't want to hear your words.

Suddenly a tingling takes over my body,
The shivers run up and down my spine,
My skin begins to crack in pain,
You control this, taking your time.

The insects pour out from the breaks in my skin,
They begin to swarm all over me,
I feel my inside clench
As something inside struggles to be free.

Pain ripples through me entirely,
As my insides spasm and contract,
This thing in me is crushing my body,
Causing my bones to break and crack.

My muscles tear and rip,
As this beast of me roars inside,
It stretches itself through me,
I feel so lost, but unable to hide.

This thing of hate, this creature of fear,
Slowly begins to break through,
It consumes me and takes me without hesitation,
This THING is bought out by you...

© Copyright of Holly Nia Goodson