Feel free to write inebriated. This is great! The only change I would make would be to drop "and" from the first stanza. Awesome write!

Lol, I like that..."written not so sober"! That's hilarious!
As for the poem, I found it intriguing. The title captured my attention, but the poem held it! It's unlike anything I've ever read.
I've tried to write while I'm "not-so sober" as you so eloquently put it, but nothing seems to come of it. I usually forget what I'm supposed to be attempting. Anyway, great job~Holly

This is quite good. It kept me hooked throughout and there was little chance for my mind to wander. however, i do prefer some of your other work I agree with sweetenigma basicly.