A clear puddle

Standing here in this puddle of mud
i realized my biggest fear
its not the sight of spilling my blood
but losing the ones i hold dear

many times i had the thought
my love ones would excel from my death
so it this puddle that's what i sought
to finally have my last breath

my wife would find another
as my sons would become much stronger
and with the birth of a new brother
they would miss me no longer

i am the weight pulling them down
the heavy load around their neck
for i am the village clown
which has turned me in to a wreck

but i do not have it in me
to part myself from my wife
because her and the kids are truly
what i am thankful for in my life