I almost said goodbye

I think it was about 4o'clock
when you rang
i thought it was another joke but you weren't laughing this time

thirty-two was it?or thirty-one?
who would have thought those little white chalk-like disc's could cause so much harm
one by one you swallowed, tears streaming as you reached for the phone
i almost had to say goodbye
i saw your face, your pain, i felt what you felt. to stop your hurt
i almost wanted to say goodbye
you and i, friends since we were five
we got through it all
the fights. the tears. the tantrums. But not death. not yet.
i would hate to say goodbye.
We have fallen out.loads of times. over boys, other friends and silly things.
you haven't rang me in a while. you have changed. i hardly know you.
i almost want to say goodbye.
i love you. you my closest and dearest friend. when I'm old i will tell my grandchildren about my first best friend. i will tell them about you making me eat a leaf. about us believing we were witches.that time we adopted American accents for no reason what-so-ever.
i never want to say goodbye.