Not a mother

She breaks me down to nothing, just when I start to feel OK. She loves me but she does all the things she's not suppose to do, nor say.
I love her because I have to, but deep down I want to swing back. She points out all the things I'm not good at, and all the qualities I lack.
She lifts my spirits so high, only to take them all away. I give her the power to hurt me again, each new day.
Each time she draws tears from my eyes, I hurt more than ever before. It's impossible to please her, she takes my confidence and then has the gull to take more.
She's ruined every right of passage since I could walk. She criticizes how I look, my smile, and the way I talk.
She's hated me since the day I came into her miserable life. I wish she'd gotten rid of me or handed me a knife. Because this is just cruel, not the way anyone should have to live life.
She calls me an accident, something that's been holding her back. She adores my Lil sister, she can do no wrong, what a huge slap.
One of these days I'll break free from her reign, and be gone for good. I'll become a mother and do it all differently, even from the way she stood.
I'll never tell my kids about her, I'll tell them she died when I was a baby. I won't ever treat them the way she shamefully treated me!