It's certainly interesting. It's unclear what it's truly about, but if you're going for that style then fine. From what ya got, it oculd be a vampire, the devil, a *mysterious and sexy* fallen angel, or a weird rapest who can talk in tongues and make cool things appear on the ground. it might not be finished, but i think it's a great ending, if that makes sense. but then again han, it's your poem, and it'll mean whatever you want it to mean, if it's finished to you, then it's finished for us. if it expresses everything you want it to, then it's perfect. that's all that matters. anyway. after all that, i will just make sure you know me thinks its a fabbo poem anywho! all dark and mysterious and great imagery. keep it up babes. ^_^

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OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!! soo visual. that was creepy i could feel chills and everything..ooooooooooooohhh!! second part! SECOND PART!
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