Well this is pretty much awesome and i cant wait to read the finished version.

Hey.. that was soo gud... such powerful words, and u described evrything perfectly.. i cud imagine wat the girl was doin.. gr8 job.. i lykd the last stanza, especially the last line.. lookin 4ward to the ending!!
keep up the gr8 work
Nannoush

Yea this did rock! It will be better when finished give it a strong ending :P
I liked the power in this the emotion its so deep and you can tel the pain in the poem.
Well done!
x)

Even if it isnt finished...so far it is very good. 5/5!
~me~

I can't wait to hear the rest but what you have got so far is very nice. your vocab is really what makes it so good, and the way you use the words together are really good. your very smart and i love your writing great job 5/5 the 3rd stanza was my favorite

This poem is great, i can't wait to read the finished product. keep ti up your amazing. 5/5

lots of love
*~*Becky*~*