Words...

Words can't describe how I feel.
Some nights I can't tell the difference between fake and real.
Memories haunt my dreams.
They live in my silent screams.
You don't know the pain of memories.
Not until they come alive in your dreams.
You were my protection against my beatings.
He hit me when you were sleeping.
You heard all my screams.
He comes at me in my dreams.
No four year old should go through that.
But no matter what you say nothing will bring it back.
Most of my childhood is black.
I don't want to remember any of it.
And I have to admit.
Besides my dreams I'm doing good.
I live my life like I should.
I try to make the good times last.
But my dreams of the past.
Kill the progress I make.
Personally I think being born was a mistake.
It leaves me lying awake.
Thinking of where I went wrong.
Why did the beatings go on for so long.
Questions that nobody can answer.
Eating at me like cancer.
Some mother you were.
Everything you did was a blur.
Those two girls are mine.
And what you do with your life is fine.
But those two girls.
Are my world.
More than I can say for you.
They know what we've been through.
Two drunks will kill you.
Memories still haunt me to this day.
And there's not enough things to say.
The memories still hurt.
But when you say "I love you" it's just words...