Okay you may be new at this but you in no way lack ability, you just need to tune it. haha. in the beginning it is a little confusing and it would be for most people who dont know about your situation however i think that you do make it clear enough by the end. i like your stile of what seems like just talking because it flows nicely. i lov you lnz and i know that i wont ever be able to experience what you have and are going through and i really dont want to either but i am still here. as of your actual writing i cant tell you to do anything better or worse because as long as long as it gets its message across then it is great. lov you.