Mocking myself, hiding alone
no home for me, no shelter
a bomb just dropped on me right now
and i haven't even felt it
this torture that i bring to myself is
too much i know
your words, they flit in front of me
i shake my head, they go
i love and i hate all at the same time
but i cannot tell them apart
i cannot define this tugging
that is ripping through my heart
melodrama is my sanctuary
i feel at home within it
but i always feel so guilty
when i resort to it
like that day last summer
the idea leaked from me
it bled across the floor that day
the idea is no more
