The Real Me

I will never let the real me show
Not even my best friends know
I come off as someone who is happy
But deep down,
I know thats something I'll never be
I've been depressed for about two years
And I've cried over a million tears
It hurts so bad just knowing that being myself isn't good enough
Sometimes it makes me mad
My smile is as fake as can be,
But nobody knows it but me
Just once I want someone to see I'm not okay
Maybe someone will realize it someday
I'm ashamed to admit it,
But it's true,
I feel this way all because of a guy
I know I will never forget the day he said "I'm sorry, But this is goodbye"
I will never forget the look in his eye
I cant believe I let a boy leave me so broken
I treated him as if he was some kind of special token
I'm everything I hate,
Everything I said I'd never be
Hate to say it,
But this is the real me