I Cant Fit In

My life is one big mess, its left me all confused,
Now one has my answers, what am I to do?
I think i'm in love, but i'm not sure at this time.
My mothers into drugs walking the jagged line.
I have a home, but i'm not sure what to feel.
I have family, but I only wish that they were real.
I can't fit in no matter where I go.
I'm not quit sure what to call my home.
Somewhere along the way I have left my feelings behind.
I am numb to words and I put abuse along the side.
I wish someone could understand that i'm not happy with myself.
I have made so many mistakes not knowing how they felt.
I try to be happy but the past is in my head.
There are nights i'm all alone and I wish that I were dead.
I hope one day ill be happy again and everything will be the same.
But my problems now, I have only myself to blame.