Im afraid

You think I am fine and everything is ok,
But anger builds up with each passing day.
I try to it in and pretend Iâ??m alright.
But sometimes it comes out and alls I can do is cry.
At nights I can't sleep, I let my mind take control.
It overrides my heart and I can't hear my soul.
What I want in life I know I can't have.
Because my good decisions have been out-numbered by my bad.
Everything that was good in life,
I let go to waste.
Now I can stand to look myself in the face.
I wish I could tell you of the lies I have told.
But I am afraid of what you might think, or the grudge you might hold.
I try not to let things bother me inside.
But sometimes it's hard I'm not going to lie.