It's easier said than done
I do admit, this is no fun
People talking and everywhere i look
I see drugs and hearing how much they took
Friends asking me to try meth this weekend
I just say no, I'm going out with a friend
Just one more time, i would love too
But that's one more thing i didn't have to do
Drugs and hurting myself, this is really tough
Trying to remain calm while the pain is so rough
Just to feel pain, i want to feel pain
Just to leave a red blood stain
One cut, just one more slice
But who knows what could happen with the roll of this dice
One more burn, to feel the pain of fire
I'd say I'm OK but then I'd be a liar
And it's so hard to tell you I'm OK
Because i don't know if it's the truth, i don't know what to say
I have so many thoughts that don't go away
And i hope that I'll get happy and they won't be here to stay
I even pray to god that he'll help my mind become clear
But it doesn't work...he doesn't seem to be near
This world is a cold place
So many things I'm here to face
Schuylkill county...yeah it can be good
But if i can pack my bags, i would
So many memories here but yet so many scars
Wishing every night on all of the nighttime stars
That i can wakeup to a new, fixed life
that i can wakeup and not once think of a knife
And I'm strong because i tell my friends I'm OK
i fake a smile and get THEM through the day
At home though is where my battle will begin
Everything comes out, but i don't let nobody in
And here it is...it's my plea
It's time to stop and try to help only me
It's so hard and i fall to my knees
I want to see what everyone else sees
I'm crying so hard and I'm crying so loud
I can't control my breathing in this breakdown
Nothing is right, the past is haunting me
I hate so much of it, it won't let me be
I need to scream until i can't no more
I need to find out what I'm here for
I'm trying so hard, everything i got
I'm using everything i know and what I've been taught
It's kicking the shit out of me, honestly
But it'll get better, people have promised me
And I'll tell you it's OK but you know it's not
But you know I'm giving all that I've got
And believe me, before my birthday I'll be fine
May is coming soon, but I'll die trying
And one day I'll say I'm OK and you'll know
That I'm ready to move on with life, I'm ready to go
Everyday i thank god that you are with me
That i have an adult who cares truly
And i know you won't turn on me like everyone else did
And i know that i can straighten out and be a good kid
And i know that you believe in me
I don't yet, but i will eventually
And I'm afraid that next time I'll see you, I'll cry
Because when you weren't here, i tried to die
And it's not fair because you did everything you could
Just to help me turn life into good
But it's working and i promise it will
And the withdrawal is hard, it can kill
Words can't explain what you mean to me
Only actions through which you will see
And i love you girl and thank you for your time
Thank you for preventing me from dying
*This is for someone who actually cares, she probably thinks I'm like demented but it's weird because i never had an adult to really care like she does...it sucks because i say I'm OK but it's still killing me but I'm going to be OK for her...hope yous like it*
