Shadows (start)

by AntiSocial16   Nov 6, 2005


Rain clouds are hovering beside me
Darkening my sky to gray
And I'm sewing on a patchwork smile
To make things seem okay

Tears of pain devour me
And my heart is sewed with lies
There's demons lurking in the dark
The shadows hide them from my eyes

i have not written in over a month, this is a start to something i was working on a while ago. i would like your opinion please to decide if i should go further. thank you.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Ironic Allure

    You should with out a doubt finish writing this. It's a very well written beginning and there's alot og different ideas you could adopt to develop it.
    The last line of the second verse seems slightly forced to me, though. Maybe I'm not reading it right, but something doesn't seem as ..consistent? about it. I'm not really sure, I'm pretty picky though, so I'd take no notice :]
    Reading more, deffinitely.x

  • 18 years ago

    by ··¤(`×[¤Ðívïñë Ðî§tørtîøñ¤]×´)¤··

    Continue writing. i miss reading new poems.

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